That Sneaky Sam I Am, I’d rather eat green eggs and ham!

(EDITOR’S NOTE: With apologies (or thanks) to Dr. Seuss.
Sneaky Sam’s voice is in italics.)

I am Sneaky Sam!…

Sneaky Sam I am!…

That Sneaky Sam!
That Sneaky Sam!
I do not like
That Sneaky Sam!…

Do you like to pay state taxes?…

I do not like them Sneaky Sam.
I would rather eat green eggs and ham!…

We can do that if you dare,
But we’ll have to take away your deductions,
Here and there!…

I would not like that here or there,
I would not like that anywhere.
I would rather eat green eggs and ham
Than you cut my deductions Sneaky Sam I Am!…

We could cut the deductions on your house!
And then you could play with a mouse!…

I would not like you messing with my house.
I do not want to play with a mouse.
I would not like that here or there.
I would not like that anywhere.
I would rather eat green eggs and ham.
I would not like that Sneaky Sam I Am!…

Then you could go live in a box,
And eat dinner with a fox!…

Don’t you put me in a box,
I don’t want to eat dinner with a fox,
I want my house,
And not a mouse.

I don’t want to give up deductions here or there.
I don’t want to give them up anywhere.
I would rather eat green eggs and ham.
Hear what I’m saying, Sneaky Sam I Am?…

Would you? Could You?
Give them up on your car?
We’re ready to take them!
Yes, we are!…

I would not like to lose that on my car!…

But you might change your mind,
You will see.
And help us fund our money tree!…

I don’t care about your tree.
I like my car! You let me be!
I don’t want to be in a box.
I don’t want to eat with a fox.
I want my house without a mouse.
I don’t want to give up deductions here or there.
I don’t want to give them up anywhere.
I would rather eat green eggs and ham.
Hear what I’m saying, Sneaky Sam I Am?…

A train! A train!
A train! A train!
You could start hitchin’ rides,
On a train!…

I don’t like trains!
I don’t care about your tree!
Leave me alone! Sam! Let me be!

I don’t want to be in a box.
I don’t want to eat with a fox.
I want my house without a mouse.
I don’t want to give up deductions here or there.
I don’t want to give them up anywhere.
I would rather eat green eggs and ham.
Hear what I’m saying, Sneaky Sam I Am?…

Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Do you mind being in the dark?…

Seems like you always keep people in the dark!…

If you don’t pay me,
You’ll be out in the rain!…

No matter what you do,
I’ll be out in the rain!
Without a car and ridin’ a train.
Without a house and living in a box.
Playing with a mouse and eating with a fox.
I want my deductions here and there.
I don’t want to give them up anywhere!…

You don’t like my great tax plan?…

I do not like it, Sneaky Sam!…

How about I give you a goat?…

I don’t need or want a goat!…

Maybe you could go live on a boat!…

I don’t want to live on a boat.
I don’t need or want a goat!
I fear I’ll be out in the rain.
Without a car and ridin’ a train.
You keep me in the dark to fund your tree!
Why can’t you just let me be!

I’ll be without a house living in a box.
Playing with a mouse and eating with a fox.
I want my deductions here and there.
I don’t want to give them up anywhere!
I would rather eat green eggs and ham!
Can’t you hear what I’m saying, Sneaky Sam I Am?…

You don’t want them, so you say.
But we’re going to take them anyway!
So just try them! Try them!
That’s all I’ll say!…

Sam!
I know you’re going to cut them,
There’s nothing I can do.
You’re forcing me to accept them.
And suffer the consequences,
Long after you’re through!…

—0—

It’s now four years later.
And Sneaky Sam is gone.
He’s still hurting the Middle Class,
But now from Washington!

While back in Kansas,
Where he’s a native son,
The polices he dreamed up,
Still carry on!

My family and I now live in a box.
Where we eat dinner,
Sometimes with a mouse,
And sometimes with a fox.

We have no deductions,
Either here or there.
We have no deductions anywhere.

Kansans are feeling the brunt,
Of a real flim-flam man.
We can’t even afford to buy,
Green eggs and ham!

So,
Thank you! Thank you!
For nothing except this jam,
Sneaky Sam I Am!

2 Responses

  1. Cute

  2. As an occasional poet myself, I really like the poem, Chuck. It pretty much sums up the sad situation here in Kansas on Kansas Day 2013.

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