Fear, Snakes, Boneheads, and Vaccination Theology

David Chartrand

David Chartrand

Odd to read about “religious freedom” proposals in a nation that guarantees religious freedom. Unless there’s another agenda or something.

Those who want me to hear about their religious principles never seem interested in hearing about mine. This may be just a coincidence.

“Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist.”

— from the 2013 film, After Earth


Most fired workers know about COBRA, the mandatory health insurance extension program. It takes its name from the Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act of 1986, a serpentine regulatory mess aptly named after a venomous snake.

It is my personal goal for the remainder of this year to know absolutely nothing about as many things as possible. Just in case I run for public office.

I consider it tasteless to refer to public officials as imbeciles, morons, kooks, numbskulls, or nitwits. The proper term is boneheads.

All states require vaccinations for school children against major communicable disease. Meanwhile, millions are never inoculated because enforcement is lame and because most states allow families to opt out of the requirement by asserting religious objections. We’re still flipping through the Old Testament to find the passage where God issued a no-vaccine commandment. Unless it’s in the New Testament.

“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

— Martin Luther King, Jr. 1964


The end is near for cable television. The death knell has tolled.

What happened to indented paragraphs? Did news publishers run out of tab stops? The world is now flush left, which doesn’t seem right.

“Some people say a man is made out of mud. A poor man’s made out of muscle and blood.”

— Penned by George Davis. Recorded by Tennessee Ernie Ford.


Dear Fox News: The other day a friend told me your station isn’t fit for idiots. I stuck up for you. I said it was.

A woman at the coffee shop said I looked dapper and awake the other day at 6 a.m. I suppose the same could be said of a department store mannequin.

Please continue to hold. Your tweet is very important to me.

Many states refuse to order mandatory psychiatric care until a person becomes dangerous to himself or others. Like waiting for cancer to hit Stage IV before starting treatment.

I don’t understand the “What Color Is the Dress?” debate. As a single guy I’d be happy to find someone in the morning to answer, “What color are these socks?”

“Give me my freedom for as long as I be. All I ask of freedom is to have no chains on me.”

— Laura Nyro, songwriter (1947-1997)






© 2015, David Chartrand

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